ahh... sigh...

it's been a very busy and very stressful few weeks. my bro got married a couple weeks ago, and obviously it's a long story, but it was just very stressful. i was very anxious leading up to it because i thought my brother was making a mistake, and nothing really happened to change that opinion. it was just a very frustrating situation. i don't like his now wife, my whole family didn't really support his decision, he has treated my family very poorly, as has she. they got into an argument on the phone with my parents the night after their wedding, i mean it is just a disaster. so at some point soon i'm going to let it all out and tell him what i think of him and her and how it troubles me how much he has changed and how he's treated my mom (and dad) so bad.

i'm on my own now at work, and i'm kind of stressed by that as well. i mean i thought training went well, but now that i'm on my own, i'm nervous because i don't feel like i know all that much, i started on my own friday and it went fairly well, but saturday i got so many strange questions and faced situations i hadn't, and it was just very overwhelming. i think it was a little out of the ordinary because it was busier than normal that day and i just happened to get a lot of questions that i normally wouldn't. but i dunno, i left work saturday a little frustrated and a little discouraged, but hey it's only 2 days i've been on my own, hopefully things will start to click more pretty soon.

then... in the last few weeks me and liz started talking again... it's weird. we got together one night, and have talked a few times and tried to again since, but i dunno... i mean we settled on being friends, but it's hard to not have the feelings i had before. especially because for a few weeks she kept contacting me about doing stuff. but she's still talking about wanting to move far away and i'm not going anywhere anytime soon so that wouldn't work, but its still hard not thinking about what maybe could have been. i just wish i had someone new to go out with and do stuff with. to be honest i wish i had some more friends just generally, the last few months, really all summer, the only person i've done stuff with is my brother steve and his friends... so i dunno...

today is my only weekday i had off all month from both jobs, other than that i work at one or the other, if not both, every day. i work all saturdays, 2 at one, 2 at the other, and one sunday. i have a stretch of 12 straight days of work... by halloween i'm going to be so wiped out, i'm not looking forward to it...

so i had my last day at the golf course on friday. it was pretty great. great to be done anyway. kind of funny, but my boss whom i completely despise was gone wednesday-friday so it was kind of fitting and ironic that she was gone for my last 3 days. so friday was pretty uneventful at work, kind of a quiet entry.

after work, my brother came over and we drank and smoked cigars. i drank probably too much, couldn't sleep worth shit friday night, had to get up early for work yesterday at mvp, which was pretty bad, i mean it was slow and not busy, but i was so tired/hungover that it was just rough. tried to nap yesterday afternoon but couldn't, then went out to dinner with my folks, and i was supposed to go to a friend's party but i was just way too tired, and i ended up just vegging out and sleeping a lot last night. today i've been kinda tired and lazy too. hmm.

so i work a few extra days at mvp this week, then september 8 i start training at the bank, and september 15 is when i start at the branch in cedar springs. i'm pretty excited, i'm just so glad i have something in what i want to be doing and that i don't have to deal with the bullshit at the golf course anymore.

i really want to tell my brother what i feel about his wedding because he STILL continues to spiral out of control and it's disappointing to watch him. my folks and brother have had serious conversations with him about different things recently, but no one has come out and said he's making a mistake or anything to that level. whatever, i'm just dreading going to this wedding. whatever...

2 of the last 3 nights i've had dreams that i really wish i hadn't had, they were kinda fuck with your head type dreams. involving people i'd rather not dream about, including one person i thought i was over, but then i had this dream which really just screwed me around so i'm just confused.

whatever...

and as quickly as it started another one bites the dust. latest girl i was interested in said she is still basically picking up the pieces after something happened in her life this spring (im assuming guy-related) and doesn't want to so much as even hang out, after she already told me she did. she doesn't want to be seeing anyone. whatever

i swear to God things will never work out.

last tuesday i went to Dave Matthews Band show number 17 for me, best seats i've ever had. i got 12th row, and our seats were the last 2 at the end of the row towards the middle, so they were just phenomenal. i went with ken, a guy i work with at mvp, it was his first show. opening act was old crew medicine show, a bluegrass band. they were pretty good, i'm not huge into that kind of music but you could tell they were very talented.

this is the view from my seat, no zoom at all.


Dave Matthews introducing OCMS


Old Crow Medicine Show


DMB's set

Tuesday Jul 28 2009
DTE Energy Music Theatre


Proudest Monkey - great opener, nice and slow. rashawn (trumpet) is gettin better on this one
Satellite - typical but nice
Funny The Way It Is - first new song, they extended it out a bit, this is their radio song
You Never Know - first time seeing this song, i was so excited, i got a full video of it
One Sweet World - i love this song, still wish they would bring back the old intro
(Shotgun) - i swear i wont ever get to see this song full. they soundchecked it in chicago in 07, tease it here, and then the show i was supposed to go to saturday, they play the full thing, sheesh
Squirm - nice new song again, i one of my favorites off big whiskey
Lying In the Hands of God - holy cow, one of the best of the night, its a slow song on the record but they really jammed on the end of this
Burning Down The House - TALKING HEADS COVER! nice, and i got vid of this!
Lie In Our Graves - first time i heard this since my 3rd show in 2001! took me back haha
Alligator Pie - this is another fun one, i liked it a lot
Jimi Thing - did the prince "sexy motherfucker" outro haha, it was cool
Seven - one of my least favorites off the new album, but it was actually very good live
Dancing Nancies - daves voice struggled at the start of this, i was gettin worried it would be shot for the rest of the night, but it ended up being ok
Warehouse - WOO!
Why I Am - one of my fav's off the new album, its in honor of leroi
Shake Me Like a Monkey - weird song, but kinda cool, i got video of this too
(Still Water) - its a cover, they usually play it as an intro to dont drink the water
Don’t Drink the Water - solid song to end a show
__________________

You and Me - a nice feel good song, good way to start the encore
Time Bomb - surprising end to the show, and it was surprisingly good too. not a fav off the album, but it was a good end to the show

all in all it was definitely one of the better shows ive seen, the band was on, good set, new songs sounded amazing, good mix of old and new, im glad i went, great time.


taking the stage










I LOVE THIS PIC

just saw dmb the other night. review + pics to come later, when i'm not so tired. was invited to go see them tomorrow in indiana. that fell through (they already gave the "extra" ticket away).

got a job! independent bank in cedar, same job i got rejected for a couple weeks ago. start september 8.

got really frustrated with how i was treated at my job tonight at mvp. normally people are cool there. tonight they took joking around too far. crossed the line, pissed me off. it sucked. it was nearly a great end to my week but instead it turned shitty fast. bad day at work and now im not seeing dave tomorrow.

also, i finally have positive news related to girls. i've been talking to this girl at mvp that i work with, shes kinda new, not really so much anymore. anyway shes quite cute, i asked her out yesterday and she said she'd like to hang out, got her number, i'm kind of excited.

i need sleep. what a rollercoaster of emotions today has been.

i feel like im just listlessly floating through life right now. i work so much i don't have time to do anything fun. this weekend i did nothing. couldn't get ahold of anyone, but then again no one bothered to try to get ahold of me. last weekend for the 4th was the same story. i seriously am pathetic. when you work ~50 hours a week between two jobs that doesn't leave time for much else. it's depressing. i seriously feel like i just wake up and do the same shit over and over again, like i'm trapped in the pathetic life i'm in.

i'm supposed to find out if i got the job in cedar springs this week. we'll see.

i'm too tired and too depressed to rant about my lack of girl interests too. that's even more pathetic.

so i guess my number of readers has hit 0. maybe i aught to shut this down. 4th of july sucked, realized i really don't have any friends. sat on my deck and got drunk.

maybe it's time to grow up and leave livejournal in my youth.

ugh this is such an annoying and frustrating story i can't help but vent about it. for the privacy of those involved (like anyone reads this anyway), i'll use different names here...

so a few weekends ago we went out for my brothers birthday. there was my brother, my former neighbor (we'll call her 'amber') and myself, as well as a bunch of my brothers friends. 'amber' is someone i have literally known my entire life, mind you. later i called a guy i work with (we'll call him 'kyle') to come join us. he's new at the golf course this year, just moved here this spring from minnesota. we had talked a couple days before at work about getting together that weekend to get some drinks, and we did, so it was fun.

so anyway, i had a LOT to drink that night. so did my brother. apparently [this is the story according to 'amber'] some time that night kyle goes to amber "where are you going tonight, i want to go with you". so amber drove my brother and i home. apparently after that kyle goes to her house, they make out, whatever.

here's where i add that kyle has a girlfriend. shes also from minnesota, but is living with him here in GR. that week or so however, she was back in minnesota for a wedding or something. but he definitely has a girlfriend.

so i guess 'kyle' and 'amber' got together later that week again. he told her he just had an ex-, and shes in minnesota, that he's single and lives alone [i know this is not true]. so she was falling for him, but come the next weekend, they were i guess supposed to hang out that day, and he said he'd call later, never did. that same day, i called him to hang out and he said the same thing, that he was at work and would call later, never did.

i found out about all this on saturday, cuz we had a big neighborhood party for 'amber's' dad's birthday. it was quite the story. and so she's trying to get me to be like a PI or something, finding out what his story is even though we both pretty much know. might get awkward.

'amber' texted me tonight saying she asked him what his girlfriend thought of him hanging out with her, but told me not to say anything now. i dunno. it's only going to get awkward for me anyway.



gosh. i can't believe though. who pulls that kind of shit? classy guy. his girlfriend is out of town for a week or so and he's gotta get some play on the side. real nice.

so my brother steve and i didn't have to work today (well, i work at mvp tonight but had today off from the golf course, they are cutting my hours) so last night after work we went up to the lake, my folks rented a cottage on lake MI for the week. it was nice, we got there, cracked open a few cold ones, had dinner, had a beer while standing in the lake, then had a bonfire. this morning everyone pretty much slept in, we had breakfast, then went down to the lake. i laid out for a bit then went swimming and then we threw around the frisbee before going out for lunch then we headed home.

i got very sunburnt.

with everyone being gone, we just have a window A/C and i can't get it in by myself, so my house is fucking hot. tuesday night i got home from mvp about 10:30 and it was 82 degrees INSIDE my house. blegh. just got home from the lake, it is very hot in here.

i am very sunburnt. owwiee. i only put sunscreen on where i was tanned so i wouldn't get burnt there with the idea that i could even out my tan a little, since i have a nice golf course tan (head, neck, lower arm, and legs from my knees to my ankle are tan, everything else (including my feet) were white and are now bright pink. oww...

it's hot in my house. i got sunburn real bad. needless to say i'm very uncomfortable.